Friday 10 February 2012

Never mind.

I gotta tell people about my story. For no raisin.

I'm a proxy. OOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOh!
A scary one.

But I didn't always WANT to be a proxy. My girlfriend was in trouble. So was my brother. And my daughter. And the small child I adopted from Uruguay. Fucking everybody I knew was in some way threatened, directly or indirectly, by Slender Man.

BUT I'M STILL WORKING FOR HIM. For some raisin.

Oh well, survival, etc., lost dreams, moral ambiguity, so on so forth.

As for my powers. You don't want to know about my powers. Even I don't want to know about my powers. Doesn't matter, because I still do, but whatever. I'll probably just drop a shitload of hints here and there. That'll keep people interested.

30 comments:

  1. oh noooooooooooooooooooooo

    periwinklelight, i, whitelight, hereby dub thee...//Scoundrel//!

    but i still want to hear your DARK and TROUBLED backstory.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dark and Troubled past.

      Prepare for a Freudian Excuse, a Dead Little Sister, and a POSSIBLE Draco in Leather Pants episode.

      Aren't tropes fun?

      Delete
  2. I am so sad right now. I am literally sitting naked on my couch, gorging myself of doritos, and crying myself into dehydration.

    Why does everything have to be so bad (and by that I mean morally ambiguous)?

    @whitelight: Duck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @whitelight: Duck.
      where?

      oh, i see what you did. you told me about a duck to get my hopes up. you know i love ducks. damn you. damn you to heck.

      by the way,
      mom loved me better.


      and she wasn't even my mom.


      and stop bogarting the doritos.

      Delete
    2. ... Duck duck goose.

      Why do you always have to bring up mom? She's not even really my mom. Because we're Time-Brothers.



      That's right, folks. Stay tuned and you'll find out what that means.

      Delete
    3. they already know what it means, duh. it means exactly what it says. i mean, what else could "time brothers" possibly mean?

      and you know i hate geese. they can break a man's arm with their beaks, you know.

      Delete
    4. Yeah, you're right. Silly of me to under-appraise the knowledge of our readers. I'm certain they already understand the subtle nuances of our plots. They've probably also cracked the code I cleverly hid in my posts.

      Delete
    5. silly //Scoundrel//. of course they figured it out. it was easy to count the spaces between the letters and figure out that they corresponded to the beats of beethoven's secret eleventh symphony and then spelled out six of the seven naughty words.

      the readers of blogs are, after all, geniuses.

      Delete
    6. Damn, then that means they already know about the codes I've put in all my comments. And the blog title. And my diary.

      ... Oh god I have a problem.

      Delete
    7. you are like the riddler. from batman. he was always putting riddles in shit. i mean, not even crimes, just, like, breakfast, he had to have a riddle. it was like crack to him. "just one more," he would say.

      and then batman would punch his lights out.

      what were we talking about?

      Delete
    8. Batman makes everything better. Jester makes everything worse. I mean Joker. Yeeeeeeeeah. I totally meant Joker.

      Delete
    9. I like the Penguin more. He's all like: "I'm going to put penguins in EVERYTHING! And umbrellas, for some reason!"

      ... What WERE we talking about?

      Delete
    10. i think it was ducks. that's how we got to penguins.

      man, i hate penguins. especially those penguins of madagascar. they were such dicks. and they always looked fancy, too, like they were wearing suits.


      my favorite bat-villain is poison ivy. ooh, green skin.

      Delete
    11. I don't know. Something about ugly ducks, Drugs Are Bad, and Even Evil has Standards.


      Periwinklelight, help me. I can't stop speaking in tropes. It's a terrible, terrible sickness.

      Delete
    12. perhaps you need someone with morally ambiguous ducktorate.

      is that shame i feel?

      no.

      Delete
    13. @Amy: I can't help you. Because I'm a proxy. With a tortured soul and terrible taste in music. As Nickleback once said:

      "Never made it as a wise man
      I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
      Tired of living like a blind man
      I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
      And this is how you remind me
      This is how you remind me
      Of what I really am
      This is how you remind me
      Of what I really am"

      That is now my theme song.

      Delete
    14. No. You are a boring old journalist, who takes off his glasses and becomes a superhero. Wait. No. That's Clark Kent.

      Delete
    15. I think we need another edifying quote:
      "mum-mum-mum-mah
      mum-mum-mum-mah
      mum-mum-mum-mah
      mum-mum-mum-mah

      I wanna hold 'em like they do in Texas Plays
      Fold 'em, let 'em hit me, raise it
      Baby stay with me (I love it)
      LoveGame intuition
      Play the cards with Spades to start
      And after he's been hooked I'll play the one that's on his heart

      Oh o-oh oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
      I'll get him hot, show him what I've got
      (2x)

      Can't read my, can't read my
      No, he can't read my poker face
      (She's got to love nobody)
      (2x)

      Read more: http://artists.letssingit.com/lady-gaga-lyrics-poker-face-1k6np51#ixzz1m42N82md
      LetsSingIt - Your favorite Music Community"

      Delete
    16. i'm sorry, periwinklelight, for i am about to bring out the big guns. nickelback won't be able to help me. they are helpless against...

      a simple plan.

      embrace the emo, periwinklelight. give in.

      Delete
    17. .....leaning on the fourth wall. Fantastic.

      Delete
    18. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gccjQz0Yugk

      This. Beat this if you can, damn it.

      Delete
    19. That song. It makes me want to cut all my blood out of my body, then start stabbing the resulting puddle of blood.

      Delete
    20. .....I'll take that as a rampant confession of love.

      Delete
    21. help me, //Flighty Broad//. i...i am nearly out of snarky horseshit.

      oh noooooooooooo

      Delete
    22. Perhaps you should check your Prankster's Gambit.

      Delete
  3. YOU CAN FIGHT THIS PERIWINKLELIGHT! YOU CAN REDEEM YOURSELF JUST AS I HAVE!

    BUT CAN YOU FACE THE **GUILT** OF YOUR PAST!?!?!?!?

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  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv3I9_fo7Is PERIWIINKLEEEEEEEEELIIIIIGHTTTTT!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Its time for our final battle Periwinklelight.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bro nigga, that ain't no damn thing. Forget this shit and go over to the other side, they have raisin bran crunch an' shit. Bro, that's hard. You know how it is. Guilt ain't no fuckin' thing, ain't no DAMN thing! Tomatoes in the fuckin' mirror, bro, just fuckin' look around you, you'll see it. See yourself and weep. Weep with great manly tears of manliness.

    Remember, we're always watching. Stay frosty.

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