You guys don't even know

You guys don't even know how POWERFUL the Slender Man is.
Like: Picture one of those foam mattresses they put a wine glass on, then toss a bowling ball onto it. The wine glass doesn't fall over because the mattress is so comfy and soft.
But if you threw the Slender Man onto the mattress, that wine glass would be knocked the fuck over.


Or picture Schrodinger's Cat. You put a cat into a box with a deadly gas canister that has a 50/50 chance of releasing its gas and killing it. That means the cat is neither dead or alive until someone opens the box up. But if you opened up a box with the Slender Man in it, you'd have a 100% chance of being dead.

Or take that scenario where you have a chicken, some corn and a fox. You can only carry one across a river at a time, but if you can't leave the fox with the chicken or the chicken with the corn. But if you had the Slender Man instead of the chicken, you'd best get the fuck out of there.

Or if you have train A going at a speed of 200 miles per hour, 500 miles out of Memphis, and train B going at a speed of 150 miles per hour, 300 miles out of Memphis, the Slender Man would already be in Memphis.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. That sunk the Titanic.

Never mind.

I gotta tell people about my story. For no raisin.

I'm a proxy. OOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOh!
A scary one.

But I didn't always WANT to be a proxy. My girlfriend was in trouble. So was my brother. And my daughter. And the small child I adopted from Uruguay. Fucking everybody I knew was in some way threatened, directly or indirectly, by Slender Man.

BUT I'M STILL WORKING FOR HIM. For some raisin.

Oh well, survival, etc., lost dreams, moral ambiguity, so on so forth.

As for my powers. You don't want to know about my powers. Even I don't want to know about my powers. Doesn't matter, because I still do, but whatever. I'll probably just drop a shitload of hints here and there. That'll keep people interested.

You don't even want to fucking know what happened to me.